


Voltron X Polar Express

by KaiLovesKeith



Category: Polar Express - All Media Types, Shrek (Movies), Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bls im desperate for attention, Crack, Crossover, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, M/M, Multi, Vore, kill me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 01:29:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13260750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaiLovesKeith/pseuds/KaiLovesKeith
Summary: There is what you would call.. sexual content? Well... it's vore so idk what you classify that as. I thought I'd just let ya know. I'd also like to say that I wanted klance to come off as being seen as adults by the people in this fic, but to children they look like children. It is not only all in their head, but also NOT underage. I would NEVER write that, and i'm sorry I didn't stress that enough. Also kill me





	Voltron X Polar Express

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColdToTheBone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdToTheBone/gifts), [ethan_r](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ethan_r/gifts), [dorkygabriel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dorkygabriel/gifts).



> There is what you would call.. sexual content? Well... it's vore so idk what you classify that as. I thought I'd just let ya know. I'd also like to say that I wanted klance to come off as being seen as adults by the people in this fic, but to children they look like children. It is not only all in their head, but also NOT underage. I would NEVER write that, and i'm sorry I didn't stress that enough. Also kill me

Allura said to Klance, in her british accent, “You all MUST bond, for the fate of the universe is on our shoulders!”  
“Heck that!” Keith yelled with a slight southern drawl showing.  
She shook her head, gosh Klance is stupid.  
“Well, I am going to be using an ancient Altean technique on you both. You will experience a similar childhood dream.” Allura said.  
“BITCH HUE HUE” Lance thought, because he did NOT want to share any experience with Kogane, even more so a childhood memory-thing.  
“‘k” Keith said, as he did not want to make the princess angry. Especially after Slav said that in many realities, his gay ass booty is married to her.  
“Glad you both agree.” Allura shoved Lance’s opinion to the side since Keith agreed. As long as one agrees, then they both agree because Klance is one singular unit.  
She says a spell, or whatever the heck the Altean equivalent is. They go into a comatose state and begin to feel their minds melding.  
-instert nyoooommmmmmmvvvvaaa noise-  
Klance is back in their childhood homes. Well, Lance is in his home, while Keith is in some abusive foster home, who use the government-given money to pay their bills. Keith is laying in bed, wondering if he could sneak out his window right now. Lance, on the other hand is asleep in his bed, with older siblings playing mariocart in the other room.  
Lance can hear a train whistle blow in the distance, but he doesnt live near a train. He looks out his window.  
“WASAAHHHHHHGTTTRR???” Lance screeches. Why is there a train in his yard?  
“ALL ABORED” a conductor yells. Lance doesn’t know what to do whith himself, so of course he goes on the train. It’s not like he would just jump onto a flying robot lion, but a train is different. He would defininataltaly jump on that.  
Lance slips his shoes on and jumps out of his window very manly like.  
“Why, hello little fellow,” The conductor purrs in lances ear.  
“H-hello conductor *gulp*, why is there a train in my yard?” Lance asks.  
“Why, thats because it goes to the North Pole! You get to meet Daddy Christmas, and make new friends along the way!” The conductor says seductively.  
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh BONELESS thank you!” Lance says nicely. He gets on the train with no complaint. As he gets on, he starts to cross through cars until he gets to the back car. Maybe he will even get to take a nap on his way to the North Pole.  
He opens the door to the back car and sees a… fire? Huh. This must be the most expensive seat when the train isnt going to the North Pole.  
He lays down on a plush couch and falls asleep very fast. He is awoken by someone shaking his arm.  
“Lance… laaancee, LANCE DAMNIT WAKE UP!” Keith yells in the most southern accent Lance has ever heard.  
“MMMmmmmppphhhhhhhhUH? KEIT-” Lance suddenly remembers he is NOT a child, but in a dream. With Keith.  
They can both see each other as adults, but everyone else in this mindscape sees them as 14 year old children.  
“Hey lance, I guess we both liked the polar express” Keith says very countryly.  
“Why do you have a countree accent Mi Amigo?” Lance asked cubanly  
“Im from the Texas yyou dingus” Keith countried  
“O” Lancc saeyd gayly  
-Insert train SCREEECH-  
Keith yellls “OH SHIT I STUDY TH E BLADE I AM RAEDY FOR THIS MONEMT”  
Lance yells “Oh GOSH I DIDN T STUDY THE BLAFE I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MOMET”  
Klance is safe though, he is always safe. The train screeches to a halt and more neighborhood children pile into the train. It is very strainge to see so many children without a singel adult in sight. 

Some kid comes up to the front of the bus and starts singing about how poor he is. Klance sighs, because this is a daiyl routins of klancc.They find out his name is Billy and klance hopes Billy chokes because they are in a war they cando what theyre want. bilYl does a keith glare at klance and spits on theyrs shoe. Keith screams and throws his shooe at billy. They both pull out blades, and start to duel. JK that didnt hapoen but Billy did piss humself in frightinings 

Some men, whome klance deam sexy, come out and sing a song and eventually serve thaem hot chocolate. Billy bitchslaps all the extra men bc klancc is a one way street and other men?? Bitch, no. Keith and Lance know all the words because they loved this movie, and all the other children get a little freaked out  
Lance and Keith have been BONODING! WHAT?? IKR! Keith feels a human relationship budding, ad his instincts tell him to lick lance. He is part alian, so this must be natural. Besides, he is but an orphan who knows no bettter  
Keith licks lances forehead, and lancc moans (woAH THER E BUDDY) AND THE TRAIN PULLS INTO THE North Pole!  
All the children get off the train, klance following. The condoctor man who has a voice just like Tom Hanks approaches them.  
“Hello boys, are you ready to sea santah?” The man says with a grin. Klance screams “YES!!!” nad the man likes that.  
“Okay, you two can go frist” train man tom hanks fists bumo klance and push them into slide that goesg to santA. The train man goes down the slide right afert them.  
They reach the end of the slide, and see santa waiting for them! Santa licks his lippers when Klancc comes into site, pats his thighs.  
“Why dont you come on top, lil boi?” (shrek watches in the distance, tears gathers in his eyeldis)  
Keith immidiatly climpbs on top of santas thunder thighs (the ones that shoot lightning), and stradddles him. “I want a fam for christmas” Keith says seductivly  
Shrek doesnst like this. No. Not at all  
“GET OUT OF ME SWAAMMPPP” Shrek Roars with his sexy moist ogre mouth. He has saliva stringing down his chin, and a hungry look in his etoes.  
He then pluck little keith of asntas lasp, frowns at lancc, and unhinges his jaw. He climbs on santa and stretaches hsi mouth wide enough to compleatly devour santa. All three onlookers quake in thir boots,, and keith yells “GOSH DIDDLY DARN IM QUIVERING MY JOWLS!”  
Shrek smiles, as well as he can with his jaw that unhinged, and slurps santa up in one, quick movement.  
“hAHAHAHA” snata yell, lick his lips, and bites down on a finger in his mout. Shrek moan loudly.  
Klance stares in horror at shreks giant toe, one with a moley on it. Shrek had named it santa baby.  
The conductor groans lloudly, and goes up to shrek asking to be vored “PLEASE SHREK~SENPAI” he yells, crying in desperation  
Shrek sigh, and says “mmmm fine i am stull hungary. “  
Conducotr moan-scream as shrekc bits his ear off? in one downward motion, he gets halfway down the mans body, bobbing up and down. Klance can hear the man scream in joy, and they fall to their knees, boy Bussies becoming wet af.  
Shrek finishes the man slowly, savoring the feeling. You cann see the man go down his thrussy and lance gets ambicious.  
Lance turns to queef, asking if this is a bonding moment. Keith agrrees, and then asks to be vored. Lance says yes bby.  
Lancc decides that keith needs to follow in shiros footsteps. Keith screams “YES DADDY OHHHH~” and tears lanccs shirt open with his newly growne fangs. Shrek big moley ears perk up at the scream and he teras through the crowd to find the new voreing couple. Keith ear, his alian ears, his uprple alian eras, twist sdieways at shreks screaming and rip themselves off his head to shrek daddy kun and getnly lick his cheeks.  
Shrek is seduced for now, rubbing his potruding stomoach and looking on with a glint in his eyes. Conductor is still biting shreccs insides. Shrek takes out a chainsaw and rips keefs alian ears in half so THEYLL LEAVE HIM ALONE and drops to his knees moaning.  
Lance is intrigued.  
He finishes off keefs left pinky toe and shoves him to the ground, a crying mess bc his lover has left him, and rus n towards the moaning bc shrecc has alwasy been a tasty bastard. Lance lance revolution is halfway three when someone, keith, still sobbing, jumsp on his back  
“VORE ME PAPI!”  
“Oh darling *lick lip* of course bby”  
Shrek cries wwhen lance doesnt come, but feels his stomacch movin aroonsd as he can feel yells vibrating through his toesies. He says to his litle guests “aye, what ya doin in there cheeriO’s?” He ca feel santa and the conductor (i want to die plz) moving around inside of him. It makes him moan in ecstasy. Gosg darn, he loves the feeleng.  
The condutor looks at santa, and winks. Santa fully consents by the gleam in his eye, and he is down in one fell swoop. The conductor cracks his jaw bone and sppreads it wide enough for th e fat man to fit.  
Shrek is screaming-moaning bc he loves it. The condutor continues to go down onto the big man, and fully swallows him. Santa hates it, he doest know why he doses this to himself  
“HOT DIGGIDY YOURE GOSH DARN HOT SHREK” keith scream, tearing his foot away from lanccs mouth because he wants a piece of that sexy meate. Lance starts to cry as well, yerning for his lost love. Queef launch humsefl at shrek, sinkving his alian fangs into shrecs ear, becuz he lost his own ears and wants shrec to suffer. Shrecc scream outraged, grabing keith by his dick and throwing him back at lancc.  
Kef is panicing at the disco at the loss o f touch ,f ro he is only a orphan, a touchstarved, emo orphan.  
Lance is angery.  
With a delactie kiss to his lovers movissing arm, he cahrge at shrec, teeth bared. Hebites downj on shrecks big, meaty ding dong and slirps it down like lasagna.  
Keith walks back to lance, for he got the big piece of man meat he needed. He seduces lance with his tounge, likcking his eyeballs.  
Lance loves geattinf his eyeballs licked, so he faflls to his knees in joy. Keith then asks, in his texan accent, “Lance, papi, will you vore me?” He of course says yes  
Now, after fighting years in a space war, you hone skills you didnt even know you had. So, lance unhinges his jaw like a snake and succs keiths feet. He likes feet. Mmmmm feet.  
Keith is so happy he could piss himself, which he does, Lance YELLS because he LOVES the feeling of warm kiquid running down his face. Keith then yells, and he sees billy heading their way.  
Shrek sees this aswell, but havimg two people, one of which is very large, in your body makes it almost impossible for you to move. He tries, and proceeds to fall over himself and hsi drooping insides.  
Keith sees shrek struggle to get rid of billy, annd he decides to see what billy wants. As he continues to piss on nlances face, he askks billy “What do you want”  
Billy saus “Of course, to get in on this shizzle”  
Keith dosnt like this and bites billy in the neck. Billhy gasps as Keith sucks all his juics out so he can pee on lanc more. Billy is dead.  
Lance is so satisfied with this, he decides to reward Keith for being a h=good boy. He swallows him whole, feet first for comforat, piss second.  
But, Keith is not satisfied. No, not at all. It’s lonely in lances stomach by himself. He yells to lance “HEY, CAN YOU VORE SHREK? I AM BORED!” Lance agrees, teh good man he is.  
Lancc uses a discarded seatblt from the train to kep his tumvy from shking too much, teeth bard 1ce again to vore shrek up.  
Lance unhinges hsi jaw abotu the length of a football feild, and takes shrek in one go. He is an expert. Lances stomch is HUGE, and keith is no longer lonely. In fact, keith wants to vore shrek adnn the other s INSIDE lance.  
Keith does just that, unhingiing his jaw and swallowing them down. He is not experianced, so it takes him a minute, but he sighs with the feeling of three people in him.  
Lance is very happy, and klance starts to fall asleep.  
-sWooshijng noises-  
When they wake up, keith is no longer inside of lance. In fact, no one is inside Lance. They both roll over and groan, feeling like they have been asleep for days.  
Lance opens his eyes, and sees the entire team staring at them, with wide eyes.  
Shiro steps forward, jaw quivering. He clears hsi thrussy and says “what… what was that?”  
Keith shrieks, now knowing that the whole team saw everything. Lance is astonished.  
Lance says “well.. Heh… did you like it?”  
Pidge screams “NO! MY VIRGIN EYES DID NOT NEED TO SEE YOU EATING A PEDOPHILE, SANTA, AND FUCKING SHREK AND KEITH!” Hunk reaches down and covers her eyes. Too late.  
They all drop dead and shiro vores them all.

**Author's Note:**

> are u dead yet


End file.
